On 09/09/09, I’ll turn 39.

Tonight, while showering (that’s where I do most of my thinking) I thought of the 9 lessons I learned in my first 39.  But, when I started typing, I ended up with 12.  So, I guess it’s like my age, 3 + 9 = 12 lessons.  That’s okay.  It’s numerology.  (9 sounded better in the title, though.)

12.  Do your best

When I watched Michael Jackson’s memorial last month, I heard MLK Jr.’s children talk about their dad saying to “be the best.”  MLK Jr. told them that whatever you do, you should do your best.  If you’re a street sweeper, be the best street sweeper EVER, so that when you die, the angels stop to welcome you.

11. Be grateful and say “thank you”

I teach 8th and 9th grade English in Park City, Utah.  We have a sister school in Bira, Uganda, where most of the children are orphans because of Civil War and AIDS.  Often, we discuss our “geographic luck” and I feel very grateful for my life.

The only time I’ve ever been truly cold is when I was enjoying myself on the ski slope (and then, the problem was solved with boot heaters).  And, the only time I’ve been hungry is when I’ve been fasting and on a diet.  I’m very lucky.

10.Don’t judge

Everyone is doing the very best they can.  Everyone does what they do for their own good reasons.

9. Accessorize

I have a Lucky-brand charm necklace that I bought to accessorize one particular outfit.  After reading that this year’s fashion trend is to “dress up” jeans and t-shirts with jewelry, I started wearing it more.  Whenever it’s around my neck, I receive a compliment and it makes me feel like a supermodel!

8.  Laugh

In my classroom I have a poster that reads, “The most wasted of all days is a day in which one has not laughed.”  Nicholas de Chamfort said that.

My girlfriend has had some chest pain recently.  She read that it’s important to laugh.

The other day, I laughed myself into a stupor (the dogs thought I was a bit crazy) for a full five minutes trying to put the mattress pad on my bed.  Laughing was better than feeling frustrated.  You know how it is.  .  . you put one corner on, stretch it diagonally and the corner that you had situated pops off?  I do that with fitted sheets, too.  I swear it takes me at least half-a-dozen tries to make the bed.

7. Repeat and believe the mantra, “money flows freely to me and from me.”

I must say, I kinda’ like a good recession.  It reminded me of what I don’t need.  But, I also found that during this recession, I’m better off.  For that, I’m lucky and I do remember to say “thank you.”

My friend, Vicki, is the smartest person I’ve ever met.  Really.  That’s not hyperbole.  It’s true.  She told me that money is “just dirty paper with faces on it and they make more of it every day.”

When I am generous, I have more.  Fewer bills arrive in my mailbox and more checks come.

6.  Give – giving is fun

There’s nothing I enjoy more than finding a gift that I know someone will love.  When I do that, I can’t wait to give it to them.  Usually, they get the gift before Christmas or their birthday.

When I was married, I LOVED to find shirts for husband – everything from Tommy Bahama to Columbia.  Then, I’d hang them in the closet and wait for him to come home.

A few days ago, my friend’s daughter turned fourteen.  She’s an eighth grader.  You couldn’t pay me to go back to that age now.  Ick.  (Kids can be so mean.)  She’s a tomboy, but loves Ed Hardy clothing.  Earlier in the week, I dressed in, what I considered, a hideous pair of men’s Ed Hardy white shorts (they even had a sequined skull) and “low-rided” (or, would that be rode) in an assembly to demonstrate to the boys “what not to wear” in terms of our dress code.  This little eighth grade girl commented, “I love your shorts.”

While in one of my favorite boutiques, CJ Sports, I found a fitted Ed Hardy feminine t-shirt.  The owner gave me 75% off.  I couldn’t wait.  They wrapped it in their signature leopard bag with red tissue and she wore it to school the next day.

Last December, my neighbor came home from antiquing with a gift for me.  She couldn’t wait to give it to me.  It was a first edition of Up from Slavery, Booker T. Washington’s autobiography.  She almost exploded with excitement when she handed it to me.

Giving is fun.

5.  Say . . .  say what you mean and mean what you say

Be careful with your words.  Check for understanding.  Be kind.  But, don’t hold back.

4. Give second chances and third chances and fourth chances and . . . don’t give up.

3. Love

Someone once told me that when your heart breaks, it heals.  But, it doesn’t shape back together the same way.  Your heart gets bigger every time it breaks.  So, you can love more.

2.  Relax

Between teaching, my role on the planning commission, and writing grants for local nonprofit organizations, I get worn out.  Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed and I just want to cry.  That’s when I know I need to relax.

My favorite way to relax is to sit on the sofa and watch an episode, or two, of Wife Swap. It’s completely mindless.

The truth is, that’s more relaxing for me than doing yoga.

1.Breathe

When I’m overwhelmed and just want to cry, I sit.  I settle.  I inhale.  I exhale.  And, I think about breathing.

But, really, at the end of the day, it’s like Einstein said, “there are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle.”