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Archive for October, 2009

Hailey Glassman Talks About Jon Gosselin and His “Mantrums”

October 31st, 2009

hailey glassman

For those not up on Glassman/Gosselin speak, that’s a male version of a tantrum, and apparently, Jon’s been throwing lots of them lately. Hailey Glassman, his 22-year-old girlfriend, claims that while she’s in love with Jon, he’s emotionally abusive. Says Glassman: “He’ll call me and take his anger out on me…He has mantrums… I’ll cry and say, ‘why are you being so mean to me?’” She acknowledges that her life has changed for the worse – you know, now she gets threats. People call her a fat whore! Then she cries herself to sleep, which is probably what we’d do if we woke up one day and realized we were dating a guy who looks like he has down syndrome and who definitely has a serious pot belly along with an addiction to trashy Ed Hardy clothing.

We think it’s time for Hailey to kick Jon to the curb. It’s not like he’s bringing anything to the table besides drama. She needs to wash that man right outta her hair, and we’d suggest doing it with the organic soaps from skinnyskinny. This organic and eco-friendly bath, body and home store is about to open its first store at 129 Roebling Street in Brooklyn. Might we suggest Glassman hightail it to the BK?

Jon Gosselin with Kate Plus Hate

October 30th, 2009

Some refer to the divorce as “Jon minus nine” or simply “Kate plus eight.” The fans are split and so is the couple. Jon and Kate Gosselin have been under the scrutiny of the public since the 2007 inception of their popular reality TV show, “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” which chronicles their lives with eight children — the result of fertility treatments and two sets of multiple births. Now, the two are caught in a media storm due to their impending divorce.

jon & kate

For those who are not familiar with the TLC series, let me break it down for you: Kate is overbearing, demanding, and has a compulsive urge to right all of the inconsequential wrongs in her life. Jon is a laidback and balding pushover who loves wearing the Ed Hardy clothing line. Their eight kids –Cara, Mady, Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah, and Joel — are adorable. As the series progressed, viewers saw Kate continue to nag Jon as he sat back and took all the complaints. Their clashing personalities helped to make the show the highest-rated program on TLC.
After 10 years of marriage and five seasons of the show, the biggest train wrecks of reality television are finally separating. These non-celebrities are being stalked by paparazzi and frequent the covers of popular gossip magazines. Kate Gosselin is working hard to promote her image, often portrayed as the distraught and newly single parent. Jon, however, is not pleased with the scrutiny he has been placed under, mostly due to his infidelity. He’s been lashing out about Kate the Horrible to anyone who will listen. Unfortunately, no one seems to care about him or his points.
There have been many disputes over the format for Jon & Kate Plus 8 and the working conditions the children have been put under. Since it is a reality show, the labor laws for such a format are vague. Some believe the kids are being overworked because the law does not protect them. This issue will continue to be raised since shows about large families are so hot at the moment. TLC alone has shows entitled “18 Kids and Counting” and “Table for 12.” Even Octomom is getting her own show. This mother of many, born Nadya Suleman, gave birth to octuplets earlier this year, adding to her already sizeable brood. Suleman is unemployed and is not financially dependent. Famous due to her poor fertility choices, Octomom has commented that Jon and Kate Gosselin are exploiting their kids. I guess she thought it would be a good idea to follow suit.
Alas, all awful things must come to an end. With the zealous efforts of Jon Gosselin, the show will end, with the last episode airing sometime in mid-to-late November. However, just because the show is ending doesn’t mean the very public fighting between the couple will end. Rubberneckers, don’t despair! Our morbid curiosity will be quenched.

Uber Exclusive South Beach Party at Vagabond Thursday, Bro

October 28th, 2009

The Ed Hardy T-shirt. Nothing is a bigger symbol of douchebaggery in clubland than it. It’s a faux-tattoo armor for those too wimpy to get real ones. Bedazzled and they achieve a whole another level of douchiness. Oh, and if you’re wearing Affliction you have two strikes against you: you’re poor and you’re a douchebag.

shake hardyIn a what-took-us-so-long moment, Vagabond’s Thursday night party (((Shake))) pays tribute to the eyesore with its “Uber Exclusive VIP Halloween” party. Partygoers are encouraged to don Ed Hardy gear in order to gain free entry this Thursday. Girls, you aren’t being left out either. Make sure your ass tells everyone how “Juicy” it is by wearing your favorite Juicy Couture clothing.

But there’s more: possibly fictional DJs Danner Von Martenberg (Berlin), Aaron T (back from Ibiza), and Diesto (Tiesto’s brother) are all on the bill. Bottle service with pretty sparklers will be poppin’ all night, God willing somebody drops five grand for a table.

We wonder how many South Beach patrons will accidentally make a detour to Vagabond and think they fit right in. Yep, douchebags.

Celebrate Sailor Jerry's Tattoo Legacy Tomorrow With Ed hardy

October 27th, 2009

Here’s a last-minute heads up: Tomorrow night is the local screening of Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry, the new documentary about the life and times of the tattoo legend. Born Norman Keith Collins, he became the go-to ink man in Hawaii, where he developed his singular style on the bodies of hard-living military men. Jerry introduced real artistic finesse to tattooing, using bold colors, clean lines, and Japanese influences he picked up thanks to his locale.

horismoku miami Celebrate Sailor Jerry's Tattoo Legacy Tomorrow With Ed hardy

The documentary itself is based on archival footage and photographs, and interviews with his contemporaries and followers. It’s been slowly making its way around the country, and lands in Miami tomorrow night for a screening at the Miami Art Space, 244 NW 35th Street. Doors open at 7 p.m., and there will be a Q&A with Hori Smoku director Erich Weiss, as well as a party afterwards with a live set by Jacuzzi Boys, and, of course, free Sailor Jerry rum. Admission is free, but you must be 21 and over, and you must RSVP at this link.

Bottom line: Sailor Jerry was awesome; the rum that bears his name is tasty. Add these together, and it’s a worthwhile reason to leave the house on a Tuesday night. (Plus, for those who want to keep it going afterwards, you can drive a little up Biscayne to the Nightdrive party at the American Legion bar in Legion Park). Let’s hope the Sailor Jerry merchandising stops with the rum, flash reproductions, and the so-far-tasteful, limited-distribution clothing. Keep Sailor Jerry’s legacy out of the hands of the Christian Audigiers of the world — we don’t need him turned into another Ed Hardy!

Celebrate Sailor Jerry’s Tattoo Legacy Tomorrow With Ed hardy

October 27th, 2009

Here’s a last-minute heads up: Tomorrow night is the local screening of Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry, the new documentary about the life and times of the tattoo legend. Born Norman Keith Collins, he became the go-to ink man in Hawaii, where he developed his singular style on the bodies of hard-living military men. Jerry introduced real artistic finesse to tattooing, using bold colors, clean lines, and Japanese influences he picked up thanks to his locale.

horismoku miami Celebrate Sailor Jerrys Tattoo Legacy Tomorrow With Ed hardy

The documentary itself is based on archival footage and photographs, and interviews with his contemporaries and followers. It’s been slowly making its way around the country, and lands in Miami tomorrow night for a screening at the Miami Art Space, 244 NW 35th Street. Doors open at 7 p.m., and there will be a Q&A with Hori Smoku director Erich Weiss, as well as a party afterwards with a live set by Jacuzzi Boys, and, of course, free Sailor Jerry rum. Admission is free, but you must be 21 and over, and you must RSVP at this link.

Bottom line: Sailor Jerry was awesome; the rum that bears his name is tasty. Add these together, and it’s a worthwhile reason to leave the house on a Tuesday night. (Plus, for those who want to keep it going afterwards, you can drive a little up Biscayne to the Nightdrive party at the American Legion bar in Legion Park). Let’s hope the Sailor Jerry merchandising stops with the rum, flash reproductions, and the so-far-tasteful, limited-distribution clothing. Keep Sailor Jerry’s legacy out of the hands of the Christian Audigiers of the world — we don’t need him turned into another Ed Hardy!