In an announcement that should surprise no one who has any economic sense, the Jackson clan and the owners of Neverland Ranch will be going in together to revamp the place as a Graceland-esque amusement park. Except better than Graceland, because Elvis memorabilia  aside, it’s just a house. Yes, one that a famous person lived in, but when you tour it, most of your observations are just ‘wow, Elvis had really seventies taste and I bet his mom super influenced a lot of his choices.’ Oh, and you can visit his airplane, which is similarly ‘mmhmmm’ and check out a few exhibitions which inevitably lead to GIFT SHOPS. BUY BUY BUY. Despite the influence of Disneyland designers who put in fancy shuttles and ticket halls, it’s still a pretty tacky tourist destination.

But Neverland already has amusement park rides and a zoo, so it’s ten times better than Graceland. The home itself is said to become a museum: a tribute, one assumes, to Michael’s adoration for super soakers, movie collectibles, and strange enormous statues purchased at those gaudy tourist stores that flank high-volume holiday areas like Central Park, the Las Vegas strip, and the Fisherman’s Wharf.

There’s been some rumors that one of the investors is Christian Audigier, premiere Ed Hardy designer. I’m pretty sure I can get in legal trouble for trying to encourage a People’s Revolution where citizens concerned with taste torch Ed Hardy stores, so I won’t say anything.

BUT that’s all confusion: Aduigier is said by his rep to own the Holmby Hills home Jackson died in. He will return to the home when Jackson’s lease is up December 15th. Surely his ghost will haunt the designer, asking why he feels the need to make such hideous clothing for horrible people.

But back to the Neverland Ranch. There better be several water park rides, because when you come to the Neverland Ranch, you’re gonna get wet!